Sign up for LibraryThing to find out whether you'll like this book. We have friends. We are not stuck up, we are not perverts, we are not socially inept. The book is broken down into chapters that address the role of loners historically, in crime, in literature, in art, in society, in childhood and, interestingly, how to deal with such a child , relationships, and more.
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The Buddha. Rene Descartes. Emily Dickinson. Greta Garbo. Bobby Fischer. Salinger: Loners, all-along with as many as 25 percent of the world's population. Loners keep to themselves, and like it that way. Yet in the press, in films, in folklore, and nearly everywhere one looks, loners are tagged as losers and psychopaths, perverts and pity cases, ogres and mad bombers, elitists and wicked witches.
Too often, loners buy into those messages and strive to change, making themselves miserable in the process by hiding their true nature-and hiding from it. Loners as a group deserve to be reassessed-to claim their rightful place, rather than be perceived as damaged goods that need to be "fixed. Marshalling a polymath's easy erudition to make her case, assembling evidence from every conceivable arena of culture as well as interviews with experts and loners worldwide and her own acutely calibrated analysis, Rufus rebuts the prevailing notion that aloneness is indistinguishable from loneliness, the fallacy that all of those who are alone don't want to be, and wouldn't be, if only they knew how.
A founding manifesto for an organization of self-contained people A clever and spirited defense. Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
Would you like to tell us about a lower price? If you are a seller for this product, would you like to suggest updates through seller support? Read more Read less. Review A founding manifesto for an organization of self-contained people Anneli Rufus, a prize-winning, critically acclaimed writer, has published more than feature articles in dozens of magazines and newspapers worldwide. She is the editor of the East Bay Express monthly literary supplement and the author of Magnificent Corpses, The World Holiday Book, and the co-author, with her husband, Kristan Lawson, of five travel guidebooks.
She lives in Berkeley, California. To get the free app, enter mobile phone number. See all free Kindle reading apps. Tell the Publisher! I'd like to read this book on Kindle Don't have a Kindle?
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Top international reviews. Translate all reviews to English. I love thus book so very much. Unlike other 'personal growth' books 9which it certainly isn't it takes an unashamed stroll through all elements of the loner, through history and present day. And celebrates it! Us happy hibernators can find joy, comfort, knowledge and wisdom in this valuable book. I always take it to read in public places. Thank you for your feedback. Sorry, we failed to record your vote.
Please try again. A brilliant polemic in defence of the Loner, the Solitary, who may not be a psycho serial killer, as the mass media significant term would have it. The Loner may instead, as Rufus argues, have far greater mental health and security than those who need to be surrounded by others all the time, always on the phone, always talking, because they fear.
The Self? They are not sitting there staring at the telly, waiting for their partner to come home and entertain hem. They are busy: painting, playing the piano, day-dreaming.
If this describes you, and yet you still feel obscurely guilty, nagged or pressurized by others into being something different, then you should really read this book. Being a Loner doesn't signify an incapacity for friendship or intimacy, as Rufus makes clear, but a deliberate choice to have a lot of solitude. I'm a perfectly successful creative myself, well into my forties, with very close, old friendships that will always endure. Thank you so much, Author.
This is a terrific, liberating book in every way. A very easy read, and read it in a day as I am currently on Holiday. Most of the things she says strikes a cord with me, but I don't agree with everything she says.
Maybe this is part of being a loner, the independence and individual in all of us that it is her message. I would recommend this book for people who feel that they could be a loner or sway in that direction but take parts of it with a pinch of salt and sift out the bits relevant to you. The constant reference to loners and non-loners seemed to make her point of grouping moot when she put all people into two categories. I did agree with her on the media usage of loners being pervos, pedos, or indeed of any weird disposition when infact we like to spend time on our own.
People like Mark Champman are pseudoloners, those who seek approval but have faced rejection and react. Loners like time on their own. I do infact go to the cinema on my own and eat at restaurants on my own and at work I will sit on my own at break, but I don't agree with her generalisation that we hate all social contact. Whilst I myself prefer my own company, I do have time for relatives, close friends and when not on my break will freely talk to others.
I found the writing style very easy and would have liked her to go more into detail about people like Kurt Cobain, Einstein, John Lennon, instead of touching on them briefly to expand on the different types of loners.
I do not like surfing, which she seems to say all loners like. I guess the point is, she makes most of her points in the first few chapters and if she went away from and us and them attitude like it is in harry potter with mudbloods and muggles, it could have been a much better argument, but I gave it 4 stars because I have empathy for the most part.
One of the best books I've read this year. It definitely helps to boost your confidence and makes a clear distinction between a loner and someone just feeling lonely. It's a positive approach to this way of living and a perfect book for someone who may be a loner but hasn't had the means to articulate it.
I'd recommend it as a winter read :. One person found this helpful. Maybe she's slightly more independent than most. Load more international reviews. This is an excellent and fascinating work on solitude. Inspiring and brilliant. As I myself am one of the most genuinely self-contained people I have ever met I was a little bit disconcerted to discover how many of 'us' there are out there. I enjoyed this book although I couldn't relate to many of the asocial eccentricities described.
Nor have I felt as suspect or as discriminated against as some loners seem to feel; maybe that is more of an American phenomenon. It is, however, certainly a worthy and eloquent retort to the idea that solitariness is something that needs to be 'cured'.
What a marvellous book. Insightful, interesting and well-written. The perfect antidote to too much company. Recommended for those who like to listen to their own thoughts instead of the often inane proclamations of others. Also recommended for those who shun self-encounter or label it as 'selfish'.
A good read. I really enjoyed this book. Anche se bisogna specificare che non trattano proprio la stessa materia. Translate review to English. Like a couple of other reviewers, I found that what could have been an interesting and very readable book dismantling the often negative stereotype of 'the loner' was pretty well sidestepped by Rufus' indulgence in a sort of playground 'getting my own back at people who've been offensive about me by being offensive about them' approach.
As someone who is actually perfectly happy to socialise - as long as I can get large amounts of time in solitude to reflect and re-connect with myself - I'm perhaps less of a true loner than Rufus.
I appreciate connecting with other people and I appreciate solitary pursuits, and also very much value being in the company of others who can be companionably silent.
Although if I was given a stark choice between NEVER being alone or ALWAYS being alone I'd have to choose the latter as the inability to be silent and solitary would make me a bad companion and have me exhibiting signs of deep distress.
I should miss the companionship of others,of course, but could handle that better than being denied solitude Do I think my definitely-tending-towards-a-preference-for-solitude makes me in some way superior to those whose preference is for always being in company or engaged with group pursuits? Of course not!
A Loners' Manifesto
In this compendium of everyone who was anyone who ever spent a moment alone, readers bump fleetingly into Kurt Cobain, French Resistance fighters, the Lone Ranger "Tonto notwithstanding" , Michelangelo, Alexander Pope, John Lennon, cowboys, Saint Anthony and other solo acts. Rufus, the books editor of East Bay Express , views Degas's plain-faced dancers as "pretty ballerinas" whom the artist leaves every time he exits his studio, and Warhol's biography as "tellingly titled Loner at the Ball. She also identifies "pseudoloners" like Theodore Kaczynski and Jesus Christ who "was too good at guiding crowds to have been one of us". The "us" people "do not need writers to tell us how lovely apartness is"; the "them" people will surely weary of being identified as "Nonloners. The world at large. The mob.
PARTY OF ONE: The Loners' Manifesto
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The Buddha. Rene Descartes. Emily Dickinson. Greta Garbo. Bobby Fischer. Salinger: Loners, all-along with as many as 25 percent of the world's population.